My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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