I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
