i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
