I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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