i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
