i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
