It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
