end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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