Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize