S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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