I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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