dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
