we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
