Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
