Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls