I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?