why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
