U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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