when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
