loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
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