Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
