I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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