Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
