I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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