he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
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Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize