I CAN MOONWALK!
Welp...herpes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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