Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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