summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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