You just made me feel so damn special
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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