they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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