I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
