white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
