How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
