it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
