it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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