Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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