My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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