Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize