did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
