If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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