he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
