Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
