I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love having hate sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
