Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
