have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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