she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
