dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
