I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
