does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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