The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
