So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
