I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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