you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
