If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smelled like a LAN party
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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