Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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