He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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